I have been struggling with self-pity for several months now. When I was first injured and even when I was diagnosed with disabling illness, I felt determined to live a good life nonetheless. But lately, all I can think about is the past and how much I miss being able to do all the things I used to be able to do. My attitude has become the biggest disability and I just can't seem to get past it no matter how determined I am.
Lately, I've been getting sick a lot. And in addition to that, it just seems like Murphy's Law prevails in my life. I am starting to feel as if the Universe is out to get me. The more determined I am to overcome, the more determined it is to bring me down with one problem after another. Am I really doing battle? Sounds crazy, I know, but this IS how it feels. I know it has to be me and my attitude.
Today, I got online to find people like me, struggling to accept a new life without their previous capabilities. I have no idea if anyone will even read this. And if they do, will they just think I'm nuts. I don't mind commiseration for sure but I would really like to hear from someone else that's gone, or is going, through this. How are you helping yourself? How are you coping? I have all the support I need for my physical health, none of it really helping, but at least it's getting attention. But as for the mental struggles of adjusting to a disability, not much help at all and this seems like a bigger problem than my body.
From research and owner of Disabilitydates.com it is clear to me that the internet have made dating with a Disability easier,that been said there is questions or issues that can arise when dating online.
The main question that people think about is “How do I tell someone that I have a disability”?
Do they date on disabled-only Websites like Disabilitydates? Do they mention their disability in their personal ads?Choosing whom to tell or not tell is a personal choice. I believe the best approach is to trust your instinct, not your fears. I know several online daters with some type of physical disability or medical condition, and some of them choose to reveal their disability in their profiles and others don’t.
Be clear in your mind of what kind of relationship you are looking for,if indeed you are looking for a long term relationship they are certain facts that you should never withhold from your potential dates.
Let them know what kind of care you need because you are both looking for something that may result in a life long commitment. So holding such information may not benefit you in the long run. You will not only be wasting their time but you would also be wasting your time.
Questions to ask yourself
Who do you need to tell? What do you want to tell them about your disability,and what are you expecting from the person you’re disclosing your status to?When should you tell them? Where is the best place to have this conversation? Why are you telling them?
With my research i have found they are a few misconception`s that people have on people dating with a disability,one being they only date other people with disabilites,this is like saying blondes only date blondes,white people only date other white people.
Every person needs a connection or chemistry to be attracted to one another,a person in a wheelchair is not just attracted to another person in a wheelchair because he/she has a great set of wheels!
This been said they is many people that do date someone with a disability like themselves thinking they will be more accepted by this person and they can relate to them better.
They can belive that a person without a disability would never look their way,which of course is untrue.
What attracts people is confidence – the confidence to show your inner self; that is what’s truly attractive.
The first step you need to take in order to have a love life is to be comfortable about your disability. Accept yourself with your flaws and disabilities. After all, each and every one of us has flaws. No one is perfect.